Christian Accountability
This is a widely misunderstood topic and practice in Christianity.
What is Christian Accountability?
DIVISION
There are some points in Christianity that people disagree on, like accountability. Historically, this is going to be the case, always has been, always will be. We have an enemy who seeks to divide. Not only that, but Jesus Himself says that He didn’t come to create peace, but He came to divide. Doesn’t sound like what you might be used to, does it? Hang in there to see how this is actually comforting. Look at the Scripture that tells us this in Luke 12:51-53, where Jesus is speaking to a crowd of thousands. He wanted everyone to know these words:
“Do you think I came to bring peace on earth? No, I tell you, but division. From now on there will be five in one family divided against each other, three against two and two against three. They will be divided, father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother, mother-in-law against daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law.”
This makes you stop and think, right? Why would Jesus be of division, that doesn’t sound right? This doesn’t change the fact that Jesus is Peace Himself. He fills us with peace and provides it with love to His children. He calls us to be peacemakers, and He delights in those who make peace on Earth. But this parable is very clear that to the living world (here, beneath Heaven), we should expect division. Just prior to these verses, Jesus speaks of the Baptism He needs to complete. God is a God that sends His son down to save them one by one, drawing us near and sometimes waiting to pursue others. This short section of no more than five verses is titled, “Peace Not Division” in the Bible and shows us the true reason why Jesus came to Earth. If you ask yourself what did Jesus spend His time doing here on Earth, we can observe from encouraging Scripture like this that the Son of Man loved to preach Truth to the crowds. His words called His people to things they had never heard, things that went against everything culture believed, as the Bible often does.
And here is the beauty in it: Jesus is such a comforter to tell us that division of believers and nonbelievers is normal. Imagine being like myself where my family doesn’t necessarily follow Christ in the way I do, and I could have all kinds of questions about this that spur doubt and unbelief and even fall into pity over the unrest it causes by my desire to have a shared adoration for our Creator with the people I love most. But instead, we have a good God who writes to all of us and explains that this is a simple Christian fact of life. I have been baptized thus far by God and brought to life to belief, and their time is yet to come for that. This leaves us “divided.” But if we were not divided then we would all miss out on eternal life. And now that I am saved, I have the desire to plant seeds to my family. I don’t have to cry out to God because I know this is normal that His design is not to save everyone all at once. The prayer and hope is that one day, the seeds I have been called to plant for my family will be watered by our great Gardener, and Jesus will inhabit their hearts when they are ready to invite Him in. Until then, I make peace where I can, but I choose to understand the division of Baptism within households.
UNITY
Unfortunately, unity is not something the people of 2024 specialize in today. We are a culture divided. And a house divided will fall (Matthew 12:25). When it comes to what we believe, we have many angles to approach from all different walks of life. Some Christians attest their faith’s core beliefs to the Niacin Creed, or the Apostle’s Creed (posted below). Some subscribe to Sola Scriptura and Sola Dios confession. The great part about subscribing to an authoritative rule like Scripture as final means that we know what we will not be arguing over. When it comes down to it, the most important part is that our core beliefs are the same. There is no unity in arguing over the small details of church doctrine.
DOCTRINE
Webster’s 1828 Dictionary gives a simple definition of the word doctrine that sums it up well. “Whatever is taught.” Doctrine of the Bible refers to what is taught in the Bible. Paired with 2 Timothy 3:16-17 we get a pretty good comprehension that the doctrine in God’s Word provides as an instruction book for our life on how to live it in a Holy way: “All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right.” - 2 Timothy 3:16-17.
THE BASICS
The purpose of this post is to clarify how to navigate divisive controversy within the church, how to settle Christian disagreements with friends, and what to do when your Christian friend is not acting like a Christian despite their authentic love for Jesus.
First thing to remember: We are not perfect. God alone is perfect. We are sinners and we need Jesus. I know this is a tough pill to swallow and it causes me a lot of pain myself, but the people you love the most will sin against you - just remember that you sin against them, too. This is why we operate in forgiveness!
Along the same lines to remember is this gold nugget of wisdom that is easy to forget: Everyone is on their own Spiritual walk with the Lord in their own timing, with their own speed of progression. Something a good friend of mine that I admire told me, “You are not their Holy Spirit!”
OUR HEARTS
We become Christians and we need to shed things from our hearts. I call it pruning because the desire is to bear good “fruit,” which is just a fancy way of saying that you can represent Jesus well by showing that you are a follower of God by your actions and choices.
God uses His word to change our hearts.
God is in the business of changing hearts.
God can better use us when our hearts are aligned with His.
God desires for us to be Holy.
Take a look at these Scriptures and realize what business our God cares about when it comes to our hearts. He is CHASING after your heart and He wants it.
Jeremiah 24:7
“I will give them a heart to know me, that I am the Lord. They will be my people, and I will be their God, for they will return to me with all their heart.
Ezekiel 36:26
“I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.”
Psalm 51:10
“Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.”
Proverbs 4:23
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”
Your heart matters to God. The condition of it, what goes into it, what comes out, what hurts it, what makes it glad, what makes it like His.
Don’t you want to be like David, who God said was a man after His own heart? Don’t you want to reap the reward in Heaven of being a faithful child of God? Are you inspired to know that Jesus might look at you one day and say “well done, my good and faithful servant.” These are the things that motivate me (as if God’s love wasn’t enough already).
He will change your heart over time. He will change your friends’ hearts over time, your mother, your father, your sister, your brother, your husband, your wife, your daughter, your son, your neighbor, your coworker, your boss. All of them so long as they believe in God and they seek after Him, His Holy Spirit will do a good work in them and mold every little thing, taking the bad and adding the good. And it ain’t always pretty. It ain’t always easy. It won’t be fast. And it ain’t always obvious what He is doing either.
HOW TO WAIT
I get it. I have lived it. I still live it every day. Waiting for someone’s heart to change is hard. Seeing your friends or spouse walk wayward or have a foot in the world is hard. Especially when it affects you. Some Christians who are not as far along on their walk may not be privy to this verse that motivates me greatly to live in community.
English Standard Version
For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? - 1 Corinthians 5:12-13
Here is another translation if you still have questions:
New Living Translation
It isn’t my responsibility to judge outsiders, but it certainly is your responsibility to judge those inside the church who are sinning. - 1 Corinthians 5:12-13
BREAKDOWN OF 1 CORINTHIANS 5:12-13
Point One
God is not interested in us exposing nonbelievers in their sin. Tell them they are loved. Tell them to believe. The heart change comes after! I know it hurts to see, I am grieved so deeply, but we need to stop telling the LGBTQ society of nonbelievers and the nonbelievers who abort their unborn babies that they are sinning - the priority is their soul. Do you know that my atheist friend was lead to Christ because I held her hand during her abortion and showed her the love of Jesus even though she knew I was so horribly against it? God does His heart changes AFTER you belong to Him. Have you ever heard the saying “come as you are, just don’t stay that way” or “the church is a hospital for broken people”? We need to allow His people to come to Him unhindered by our judgement. Let them walk with God at their own pace. Don’t be the Christian that scares them off. That is not representing Christ. We love the sinner, hate the sin but this verse tells us that nonbelievers are not to be judged for their sins. With the most love possible… end of story!
Point Two
Everybody knows Matthew 7:5, even nonbelievers know it. It is the verse about having a log in your own eye… and it is horribly misused. “You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” - Matthew 7:5. Does not the verse say to get it out of your own eye first and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye? If God was just saying not to correct other Christians, why wouldn’t He end the verse at “You hypocrites, get the log out of your own eye.”
When you see it, you can’t unsee it. When someone brings up this verse, they might not be ready to remove the sin in their life. They might not yet desire to be held accountable to God. And that is okay. We are all on our own walk in God’s timing. The Corinthians verse we are looking at about judging Christians inside the church shows us that God desires us to call our Brothers and Sisters higher. God trusts us to walk in the light beside our community in order for iron to sharpen iron (Proverbs 27:17). I am sure you have heard of telling the truth in love… which brings me to my next point:
Point Three
God sometimes helps His children learn lessons and draw nearer to Him through His other children sometimes. Telling someone of their sin is a loving thing to do. We draw nearer to God by ridding ourselves of sin. He is Holy Holy Holy and this is how we can best be in His presence. I want my friends to tell me when I am blind to something I am holding onto. A stronghold. A belief. An error. A mistake. Tell me! Help cleanse me of sin, guys! Better to be judged now by my friends or spouse than by God on judgement day in which we all stand before Him (2 Corinthians 5:10). Christians need to have attitudes that welcome others’ help in order to cultivate their Holy fear of the Lord and advance in their walk with God, helping to gain God’s trust for more. We must be Christians that hold one another accountable. It is expected by our Father.
EASIER SAID THAN DONE
I am not saying by any means that this is a cake-walk, my dear friend. What I am saying, is that this is an art to do it well. This is something that God wants to walk beside you through. This is a good time for a fast. This is a good time to ask God to search your heart. This is a good time to trust God.
This is something I coach my sixth grade girls through without them knowing I am gearing them up to know what to do when this happens. Lord knows sixth graders love to talk about what everyone else in their grade is doing wrong. God bless their innocence! I will elaborate to you on what I tell them.
Step One: Ask
Ask yourself… Is this conversation worth it? Is this a battle worth fighting? Is this something that God is calling me to help them to see in their life? Does this make God sad? Most importantly… Is this something I have conquered myself (Matthew 7:5) and can help them walk through?
Step Two: Use Tact
They will get defensive. I get defensive. People are defensive. We are humans and it’s not fun to have someone see the sin you have either been hiding or unaware of for so long. Be understanding that this is not easy for them to hear. This includes finding the right time to tell them. This includes asking if they have the mental space to be able to talk during that time. Respect their mental space if you want to have an authentic conversation. Nobody is going to win here if they are already stressed out. Most important of all, you have got to pray to the Lord that He would give you the right words to say. You need only ask and believe that God will help you to frame it in a way that does not break their heart but gets their attention. This is called telling the truth in love.
Step Three: Go directly to them
Nothing this girl hates more than gossip. Please (women especially), be better. I believe in you, okay? You are above that. No like seriously - we are called higher! Please forgive me, but we need to realize that our calling requires us to keep other peoples’ names out of our mouth unless it is to build them up. It is tempting; it is hard (believe me! I know) but it is a choice.
“If your brother or sister sins against you, go to them. Tell them what they did wrong. Keep it between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them back.” - Matthew 18:16
Step Four: Trust God
The part that we all dread. You’ve said your bit. They know now. Now is the time when you need to learn how to trust God. This means laying it down at the cross and learning how to stop worrying. That means leaving it there. No nagging! Do not nag! One week later? No nagging. Two months later, no nagging. Trust that they know and trust that God is working. It took me 6 months to realize my friend was right about some sin that I was living in. It’s not that I forgot her words - I needed time for God to grow that seed of conviction in my heart. Trust that God is watering the seed you planted for Him in their heart.
So there you have it. A topic I am incredibly passionate about, concisely laid out for you… and I would love to hear if you have questions. I pray that this will help you on your walk. I pray that this helps to clarify a lot for you. I pray this adds wisdom to your faith and a Holy fear of the Lord. And as always, I hope this blesses you deeply. Stick around for more blog posts about topics I am passionate to rise up and raise up other women to grow in.
-Mackenzie
